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1. How would you identify your current form of existence?

Human

Animal

Plant

Paranormal Phenomena

Extraterrestrial

Digital Anomaly

Other

None of your business

2. Which of the following best represents the true nature of the universe?

A kaleidoscope of dreams, fractured but infinite.

A hastily written poem in a forgotten language.

A rubber band stretched to the brink of snapping.

A loaf of bread that somehow always tastes like Tuesday.

3. If your thoughts could be recorded as a symphony, which instrument would lead the orchestra?

A triangle, delicate, yet always there to remind you.

A violin, but only played by a ghost who loves drama.

A foghorn, because clarity is overrated.

A cowbell, because there should always be "More cowbell!"

4. You've just encountered a talking fish in the middle of the desert. What profound advice do you offer it?

"Never trust the sand for it is secretly plotting."

"Your scales are a metaphor for society's structure."

"a fish is only as deep as its existential crisis."

"I suggest you reconsider your career as a desert fish."

5. You find a black cat wearing a monocle. What do you do next?

Compliment the monocle and ask for life advice.

Ignore it, because I don't trust cats with monocles.

Follow it blindly, for it surely knows the path to ultimate knowledge (or at least a good snack.)

6. You come across a door with no keyhole, no handle, and no obvious purpose. What do you do?

Knock, because obviously that's how doors work.

Walk away, because who needs a door that doesn't want to be opened?

Whisper a secret to it and wait for it to open... if it feels like it.

Proudly say "Open Sesame!" because you remember it worked for Bugs Bunny that one time.

7. An unmarked letter appears on your doorstep. Its contents are an empty page. What is your next move?

Shred it. This is clearly a prank.

Fill it with the first thing that comes to mind. The universe has to work with something.

Wait for it to fill itself, because some things are best left to their own devices.

Trace your hand and draw a turkey.

8. If your thoughts were an animal, what animal would it be and why does it keep avoiding you?

A cat, because it only comes near when hungry for existential dread.

A flock of pigeons, all screaming at the sky.

A lone wolf, but its always on sabbatical.

A jellyfish, because it drifts, and somehow, that's comforting.

9. Which ancient proverb best describes your approach to modern technology?

"the more you press, the less it does."

"When the WI-FI is down, the soul is up."

"A phone in hand is a mystery in the heart."

"The charger you seek is always on the otherside of the room."

10. In a world where logic is optional, which beverage best represents your soul's most profound revelation?

Coffee, but only after its been poured into a glass slipper.

A smoothie that contains both kale and regret.

Water, but the kind that feels like its seen the ocean.

An iced tea, because its equal parts calm and rebellious.

11. The secret to eternal happiness is:

Wearing mismatched socks with pride.

Always finding a new question, even when you've found all the answers.

A well timed nap and a well placed snack.

Writing your own rules in invisible ink.

12. Upon acceptance into this society, you vow to:

Embrace the unknown with open arms and a slightly raised eyebrow.

Pretend you understood all of the above questions.

Never speak of this initiation, except in riddles and obscure metaphors.

Continue questioning everything, especially why you signed up for this.